Did You Ever Know that You're Our Hero?

PLAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ. 

I was having a usual Friday afternoon back in September 27, listening in my last class, while playing around to make the time fly, when suddenly, I received a text message from my mom telling me and my brother to visit the hospital where my grandfather was admitted. Mom blurted out how my Lolo's condition was getting worse. My world stopped for a moment, and remembered the times when I missed on seeing him. 

Before going to him, I chatted and dined first with a friend, since I'm not that type of cancelling plans in the last minute. I lost the track of time, and realized it was already late to see him, likewise, the streets were overcast with a slight drizzle. I don't know what angel pushed me that the next thing I knew, I was in his room, greeted upfront by my two aunties who were already in tears and in extreme sadness. 

Confused, I moved towards him as my father lent my hands to hold his. He's still conscious and his senses were still working. He knew very well who have just arrived. I never expected him to be in that state, having shortness of breath while watching boxing in the television. I was still holding his hands, giving him slight massage, when we started to pray the rosary. By far, that was the saddest moment of my life. Having not much to say because I was holding back my tears. I hold on tight to him and waited for him to release my hands first. I believed that was the least I can do that night.    

I was willing to wait for him to get some rest before we could leave, however, my Dad who was trying to joke around and make him smile, decided that it's time for us to go home. Lolo uttered my name and called on to me. As I said my goodbyes, I whispered to him we will be back soon. As if telling him to wait for us before he could permanently sleep. He nodded, giving me signal that we could go. Then, I kissed his forehead. 

That night, before I went to sleep, I asked God for my grandfather's immediate recovery. I asked Him for more time that we could get to spend together...and for what He plans, we will be willing to accept it.

I didn't expect God would answer my prayers that soon.

I could hardly get up the next day when, at around noon, my mother cried out that Lolo has just passed away. It didn't sink in first. I couldn't believe it because the last time I told him was to wait for us to come back. I couldn't bear the sorrow that just swallowed me so my eyes burst into tears like a flowing river.

But, wait.

By the time Dad called unto us to get there at the hospital, it seemed that what I heard earlier was just a false alarm. Grandpa was still alive, he was just dying. I don'k know what are the odds that played on us that time, or is this some kind of a twist I will have for my story. On my way, I had a slight relief that I could be with him for the last time, but what bothered me most is the thought that I wouldn't take to see him die, and definitely, I didn't.

I was the last person to arrive in his room at the hospital. All the family members were present. My cousins were on the floor and my uncles with my Dad just went out with the rest to eat lunch. When I went near him, again, I was speechless. I knew the moment I would open my mouth and say something, my tears would just flow simultaneously, and I don't want them to see how emotional I get when it comes to moments like this.

Grandpa was the exact opposite of what he was last night. Bed ridden. Eyes closed. Quite. Everyone in the room was paying attention to the scanner attached to him. At first, his vital signs were inconsistent. As everyone were trying to get out of the room in groups, my cousins and I went to the clinic of our Grandmother who is a physician. We stayed there for a while, but not for long.

As we were waiting for something good or bad that might happen, one of our Grandpa's sisters came rushing in front of us. She wasn't saying anything, but we knew then that something's not right and we might as well head back to my Lolo's room. As we arrive, one of my younger cousins who is around 9 or 10, was already shedding her tears at the door. Well, that was it, the moment we left the room, my grandfather's vital signs started to decline.

I never knew that would be the last time I will hear from him...

It is not the first time that I have experience death in the family, but it was my first time to witness someone dies. I thought all those intense weeping and howling only happen in the movies, well right there and then, it's just happening for most of us.

September 28, 2013. R.I.P Lolo Andres Tapales, Sr.

Everyone remembers him as the great judge. "The Supreme Court." The Giver. The Santa Claus. He has a very admirable and inspirational past. He was still young when both of his parents died. Even though he wasn't the eldest, he took the responsibility of sending his five sisters to school and supported them until they became professionals. Lolo was a very good provider for his own family and for his sisters. That's why everyone looks up to him. For some reasons, he may become authoritative and strict at times, but there's always a fun side of him.

Lolo Andres taught me the value of family bonding and get-together's. His happiness relies whenever his children and grandchildren are complete. He would reach out to every family, especially ours here in the city (since they all live in Tigbauan). He's a family man. He always remembers each one of us. 

He would always give us something out of his pocket even that would be his last penny.

Enough of the eulogy.. It doesn't matter anymore because he wouldn't be able to read it.
With his passing away, I couldn't imagine how sad the home in Tigbauan will become, that was once filled with laughter and joy. It would be really different without him in it.

Lolo, wherever you are now, you will always be in our hearts.

I love you. I will miss you. 

Summer Kind of Wonderful

Classes have already started four weeks ago, but undeniably I still have the summer fever. 

I just can't believe that it seemed to went by so fast; faster than Britney Spears marriage to Jason Alexander.

Why does it have to end so soon? 

Am I not deserving of sands and tan lines (and hot guys on shore)? 

Though I thank this year of at least two decent meals a day and allowance, I still missed the lazy and nocturnal times of my usual summer.

As part of moving on and finally going back to my life as an aspiring pharmacist, let me show you some of my unforgettable high moments and the stimulants involved: wink wink

Reunited with closest friends and had ourselves some of Fuel's teas and pastries
(although not shown in the picture) 

Never miss the chance of being together with the ones worth keeping and remembering. 

Building up camaraderie at Adventure Park, Guimaras with college classmates

For risk-takers (like me), try this exhausting survival game, paintball, and know how long can you last.

OR this rappelling. Looks like we had been deceived by this rock face while we're still on the ground. Trust me, it is not easy as it looks like. 

A sky full of lanterns.

 I was there for the world, too. 

(I am a disclaimer of this photo.)
Summer Playground 2013. 

Summer nights. Summer vibes.  

You know you had a blast when,"What the hell happened last night?", is all you can think of in the morning.

No one misses the damn beach. (Though, I'm quite overdressed here)

Paradise at Puka Beach. 

Spotted dream catchers. 

It's an open bar. Suite your self. 

Tonight's remedy: Mojitos. 

2013's summer just blew me away. I didn't even notice how it slipped through my fingers. I managed to escape even if I had classes to attend to. Chilly nights, sober thoughts, best friends, all these and more made a complete recipe. It's always nice to try something new whether under the prickly heat of the sun or under the shadows of the moon. Summer might be over, but another one (or someone) is just around the corner. ♥

Not For Sale

After tonight, maybe I have to congratulate myself for posting my first ever rant. I'm not trying to use tomorrow's elections in lieu of my 3-month absence here in blogger. It's just that this whole system or tradition happening every election is getting on my nerves. Especially now that I'm at my legal age to vote, I've somehow, witnessed all this madness. 

I never thought that what my teacher had warned us before is going to happen to me. I mean like, SERIOUSLY? I have never been in a situation where my family contradicts my moral values. I can't deny the fact that money can buy you anything. AND, who doesn't need money?! However, let us remember that money is still renewable. The moment you lose it, you can still be able to earn it some time. 

Just this night, I landed on a situation where I wasn't able to say no because my family has already decided for us. They even criticized me for not seeing a candidate and get a "sample balot". What's worse, the very undesirable value of Filipinos comes in, the "utang na loob". Oh please, don't tell me to rely on these politicians for my future work and benefits. It only proves to me how much I wanted to work outside the country. 

Grabbing the opportunity doesn't make you wise. It doesn't even make you a little less nasty than them. I understand how people get to be practical nowadays. It makes me sad because there's a thin chance of changing the system. I'm not trying to be a martyr nor a hypocrite. I'm not trying to post something about politics just to sound that I'm not politically ignorant.  It's just that I can't bear to see this happening in our society. I can't even do something about it because everyone is just in. No one will try to listen. 

I guess, that's just for now. 

FNO's Sweet Escape

Last February 2, I attended Fashion's Night Out by the UP MODUS at the Avenue, smallville complex. Featuring the designs of Danika Cinco, Em Trava, Post Mod, Syndrome, Frae X Mia, Pomelo, and Binky Pitogo. 

Congratulations to the UP students who put up such a great event. It goes to show that they aren't only a bunch of egg headed people but fashion enthusiasts as well. ☺ 

Below are some pictures I consider to be decent enough, though the quality isn't the best. 

Frae X Mia's main model 

The designers on stage. 

With one of the designers, Ms. Mia Judicpa (Frae X Mia) 

With high school girlfriends, (to the left) Fydah Marie Sabando and Eunice Porquez

For tonight's outfit 

I decided to go ethereal by wearing this white top with feathery shoulder blades and paired it with my short aqua blue pencil skirt to make it flattering. Matched my accessories with my plum pumps and accented my combination with this olive green bag. (PS. I do not own the bag)