Though I grew up as a frustrated dancer, my desire to dance in every beat I can feel my muscles losing control, didn't stop there. Though I still had the why-abouts of my mother not enrolling me in any dancing lessons before, my eagerness still led me to show off some moves!
Below is just one of my crazy dances caught on tape. Ever since Starships by Nicki Minaj hit the billboards, I have always found myself do some random choreos in front of the mirror every time this music plays. Fortunately, at one debut party, we had to give an intermission number and this song was chosen. It was choreographed by Carlson Baleriado, a friend of a friend, and his company. Because I fell in love with the moves and thought that this could be a tribute to the song, I decided to make a post and a video about it.
I am like this song, too. I love to dance whenever I'm on the floor like it's my last chance. AND if you want more, then here I am.
You see, there are certain things people aren't born with, but that doesn't stop you from learning how to do them, right? I'm not a self-proclaimed good dancer, well, who cares? All I know is I wanna have fun!
Bear with me, the quality sucks.
I don't know, I think I'm just more vain than I think I am.
After making my way out of the narrow and deep exit of the year passed, I was greeted upfront by these untimely rushed chores. Again, time traveled so fast, so fast that only after more or less 41 days I get to randomly reflect on my endeavors.
To begin with,
Mid-terms
One word...UGH
We were left with a week and a half to discuss and finish all our lessons, what to expect? Hell week.
I tried my best to study every night and make the most of it productive and by ultimately achieving this, I combated drowsiness with a cup of coffee and pica-pica, leading me to four hours of sleep in four straight days. On the fifth day, I got sick. I had Fever. I can't think. I can't study by the week end. I need to rest. I need to get some sleep. I need not to go to school. I was like "aj^@*#^%!" I became fine just as the night before exams, yeah, so timely.
All in all, I've got nine subjects to study so I ended up, you know...half-dead, half-paralyzed. I wasn't satisfied with the outcome especially with that of my major subject - Accounting Love. (instead of Accounting Shit, you know why) Depressing 'cause I wasn't able to make it, UGHgain. But that wasn't all, I knew by heart I was pre-occupied and somewhat distracted at that time, not to mention the festivity and merry-making that are waiting for me.
Election
After tasting the heaven felt on earth on that outrageously fun weekend following my mid-terms exam, I came across with a break. I thought it was silly and unreasonable at first. Like, who? me? Run for election? seriously? I've never done that except for some club organizations but that of my college? Oh no. There are merely certain factors why I thought of refusing it (That's another different story). However, with the help of my companions and with the enthusiasm I saw within Nang Pevs who is running for president, I grabbed it. Filing my candidacy honestly gave me chills. It's another responsibility I accepted. I ran for the position of 2nd year board member and only my fellow batchmates could vote for me. Above that, I shouldn't be anti-social anymore. When hanging with the group, I was really really quite, timid, and shy. I'm finding my way to my comfort zone and just be casual. Being the youngest, I don't talk and do a lot. Yet, in turn, my party mates were very welcoming to make me belong. Well, to be elected, the people should see your sincerity, dedication, and commitment towards your accountability. Many people, well, at least most if not all, saw them in our group. With our flyers, name tags, and bands, we were able to campaign vigorously under the banner of D.E.B.I.T Party. "Dominion of Exemplary Businessmen who promotes Independence and Trust towards students."
Photos courtesy of Pevee Nacanaynay :)
The election was in line with our JPIA week. To make the story short and to not prolong the agony, I lost by 3 points. 75 vs 72. I need at least 3 or 4 more votes to aim it. DAMN! FATE. But what other depresses me is the fact that, two sections weren't able to vote for me within the ongoing election. Another sigh. Congratulations to my fellow Debitants who made it! I'm pretty sure that they all deserve the votes and trust of the Jpians.
At the end of the day, it's not really about winning or getting the position, it's about gaining friendship and trying out the challenge. Nevertheless, I am very much thankful for all the people who supported and entrusted their votes for me. Maybe politics isn't my calling. This whole election thing---charged to experience, and that is what I am most grateful for.
Pre-finals came after and my goal was UNO. After meeting new faces of my manongs and manangs at the accountancy department, I've gotten motivated and inspired. I thought for a moment, I, too, wanted to be just like them. I really admire their perseverance and hardwork. If they can make it, why can't I?
I think it's really time for me straighten and fix things up. If I was discouraged at the beginning, I couldn't go back anymore, all I have to do is to start today and make a new ending. If I saw my name on the other list, but not in the list of new officers, it's a cue that I should have more focus on my studies first. I gained some, I lost some. But that doesn't matter.
On my favorite spot, once again, I've been overshadowed by these contemplations over the past year. I've realized how much more important it is to just let your fingers do the typing and eventually your deep thoughts and feelings will follow than remembering or thinking about them in your head, listening to what your mind says and letting your heart compromise, again.
To tell you honestly, I was very reluctant at the beginning to write something like this. Too cliched. But everything just keeps on coming back, telling me that it's time to leave all what has passed and start the year with a very pure heart, filled with happiness, contentment, kindness, and love; no more sadness, dissatisfaction, cruelty, and hate.
Just as any other good friends of mine would say, 2011 is quite a year. There are many ups as well as the downs. There were many heartaches and despairs, yet lessons and chances arose from these two, which is basically the reason why I had to go through them. Blessings in disguise, I would rather say.
Many things were forgotten and lost yet much more things were remembered and found. It was a year of departures. Leaving such an Alma mater with all the courage you've got is way unbearable.(That's according to me.) Since, high school was so far the best thing that ever happened to me, I just wanted to stay there forever, with all the people who I never thought could make me who I am today and with all the people who I just know for who they are. Leaving all my other prophecies of the future and just focusing on what my heart truly desires. Leaving the ones who shattered my heart into pieces, who broke my trust and hopes, and who never ever handed down their insensitivity in front of me. It's time to LEAVE.
Some say you leave because you can't take it. I say, I leave to start anew.
On the brighter side, while you're actually on that melancholic process, you'll always be accompanied by the ones who choose to stay with you when everyone else turns left and the ones who care and feel for you when everyone else gets imprudent. Sometimes, you'll come across or bumped into people who you never thought would mend those broken pieces☺; as another treatment for that wounded heart.
Well, another year is just another year. YET this time, I rather wish to stay than to leave...
Love is when friends take an adventure and spend a getaway together despite of their busy schedules and "new lives".
FINALLY. just finally, we are all set, I guess merely the four of us. We've been planning for some sort of escape from all the drama and issues and lots of blah blah blah back then at summer, yet we had pursued it only at this time of the year. It was absolutely right in time, because three days after our trip is Christmas. Not to mention, that we're actually setting the dates a year before the world "might" end.
When and where?
Just so you know, everything was instant. Instant planning, deciding, and inviting. It's not like, "okay, next next week we'll be going on a trip, we have to decide now, so we could have a week or so to prepare." It was like, "my grandma's gonna be out next week, tell them ASAP and guys, ask for effing permissions!" I don't know, but everything just went way too fast. Of course, because it was instantly finalized, some of the good friends haven't made it, and in my part, I got trouble in asking permission. You know, parents always ask every single detail about your proposed "project". December 20 and 21, it is. It's vacation sooo we've got nothing to worry about schedules and classes. Damires Hills, it is. I can't remember if Eunice suggested it all, but she made it all happen, anyway.☺Since Janiuay is out of town and more or less it will take an hour to travel from the city, Eunice offered their house back there for an overnight stay for us.
Damires is...
A panoramic shot by Nestor Clavel
different. If you want to try something new, get refreshed by merely overlooking at a vast rice field, trees, and nipa hut cottages, if you're sick of sandy white beaches and just want to see a pleasant view that is uplifting to your eyes and heart, might as well visit this place.
Underwater...
Damires has its infinity-like pool with a miniature waterfalls. Our cottage was just at the side of the pool so we've got nothing to worry about when it comes to our valuables left and jumping into the water. We've taken a lot of pictures and tried different stunts underwater with the special swimming classes held for our dear friend, Hilary. Because of our vanity, and because of the stupid handrail in the pool, Hilary and I went out of the water with the fvcking bruises left on our legs and feet!
Highlights...
After dipping in the pool, drinking some beverages, playing fun and games and munching some food and chips at the table, we had to leave the inland paradise as the sun goes down. Sad to say, our hearts broke when we had not tried the zip line because it costs too much and we had not gone to some hiking or stuffs like that around the place by the time Eunice's father arrived to fetch us.☺It was a sort of relief when we finally left the annoying strangers who are too friendly to bother talk to us in a very "unsuitable" way that would make us feel very uncomfortable. :\
At Eunice's house, we were served with a very luscious pansit, cooked by her father, and a very scrumptious lechon manok. It really feels great to spend dinner time together with your closest friends and talk about all the fun you had earlier of the day. Though we were very tired and sleepy, we didn't let the day pass without having our favorite past time: (drum roll please) PHOTOSHOOT. Eunice and I had most of the shots. No, EUNICE had most of the shots, talk about 58 solo frames. Vain much girl.
After doing the girl stuffs, we decided to watch Never Let Me Go, but the movie failed to give us an appealing impression, so the two ladies fell asleep first. Midnight came and we lie-downed to get ready for our morning exercise the next day.
When the sun was up, we went out of the house to breath the refreshing air from the hills and see the green atmosphere surrounding our place. As we had dinuguan for breakfast, we tried to reminisce memories way back from high school, such a great time. We all know that these little I'm-in-cloud-nine times would have to end so before going back to reality in the city, we flaunted our very outrageous yet SEXY moves with our favorite beat at the moment!
Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Bottomline...
Spending time together this Christmas Season is yet the best gift I've, we've ever received. Trips like this don't happen all the time, and only through PLAN and COMMITMENT are these achieved. Thank you so much friends, Eunice, Hilary, and Nestor ♥
2nd semester is just nearly 6 days to go. This means a new set of schedules, rooms, teachers, and classmates, yet with the same goal and motivation.
Back in the days where my feet sore for all those tiring tracking of my rooms, where I couldn't just help it but to have a map or some tracking device. My school is huge. Talk about a 24-hectare university where you wish for a mean of transportation across the buildings. Back in the days where I met some annoying, arrogant, and lazy teachers; which is not good, and you were like checking the minutes left from time to time during classes. Back in the days where I have to make new friends and blend in. It was really hard to mingle with the new faces because each has his own field of interest, their nature is different from where I got used to.
Indeed, everything was strange. Everything was different from high school. I thought it was gonna be easy, but it took me a while to adjust.
The first day of school was the day that marked the end of my high school life. It was the day that I really felt that I am no longer a senior anymore, weird because I didn't feel that on our graduation day and the following days after. It was the day where I finally went back to my senses and realized I'm in a whole new world now.
As I was adjusting and exploring, I felt loneliness, sadness, and boredom. It was as if every minute I want to meet with my friends 'coz I miss them so badly! Well, I know, they're all part of the drama. I know, I'll get by and I did. With the help of my closest friends, all the sickness went away. Every time we see each other, I realize I was never alone. However, I know that I shouldn't rely on them which made me befriend my classmates and get to know them more. They are not bad after all, nor neither good as what I expected. The thing is, I can go well with them, with their interests, and views. I'm happy 'coz I was never out of place. Yet still, you can't refuse to choose the people you wanna spend your time with at school and you can't refuse to not like them all.
Sometimes, I wonder if this is the place I should be.
But if not here, where?
One morning, as I was making it to my first class, some questions just popped out inside my head, and I wonder if I could ever make it, not to my first class, but to my graduation day #futuristic. I wonder if I could get a degree on BS Accountancy on time. I wonder if I could make it to the cut-offs and pass all the qualifying exams each year. I wonder if I'm still gonna be a regular accountancy student four years later. AND I wonder if I can handle everything with all the unsettled issues back home.
Accounting was very new to me. It was a whole new word added to my vocabulary. I had lots of disappointments at school and my major subject was one of them. I'm disappointed because it seems that the whole system was unfair. I don't know but I felt that there's no more second chances at all. It was do or die. Oh well, I can't do anything about it, I just have to face it. Instead of whining, I took it as a challenge. I didn't stop even there's nothing option left but to give up, yet I didn't. I said to myself, "This is what I've chosen, I have nothing to do but to go with it." Every time I think of these stuffs, I ask God if what he thinks, I ask him, too if this is also His plan for me. Unfortunately, I still don't have the answers, but somehow God gave me a sign. A sign that is meaningful to me. A sign that says, you're just getting started, you still have a long way to go. Fortunately, I made it to the first cut, and this was the sign I'm referring to.
I know I can make it. I can make it because I believe. I believe because I have to. I have to because if not, no one will.
This 2nd semester, I have to exert more effort and more focus on my second accounting subject. There's no more turning back. I can make it. I can make it. I will. I will. So if you think you're that bitch who doesn't believe in me, think again, karma might just hunt you!
Hey there! It has been a while since I last posted here in my blog, not to mention the two other posts which were not under my specifications of giving you a connotative or a denotative meaning of the things I wanna share with you. However, I still wanted you to know that I'm still alive but barely breathing. Since the beginning, I had to note every draft so when I'll have my vacant time, I could finally finish them up, but it seems that every day gets more and more tiresome that I end up nothing but hitting the sack and worse, forgetting my self-project, my blog.
We're having our sembreak and I'm coming back with a different dimension as this:
Say what you gotta say because my friends and I became demonic and angelic at the same time the moment we crawled our way to the light and felt wild with the whipping of our hair back and forth. Yeah. Posing in front of the camera and feeling sexy and stupid in front of the web cam are ways of how we bond together. Since my buddies and I seldom see each other, we make sure that during breaks we enjoy and have the time of our lives all together again, and this video became our very first "production" as a tribute to Katy Perry's magnetizing E.T, regardless of our T.G.I.F. memorable version, that one of Katy's too. :)
Expect more from me this break, I may not be whining neither grieving nor blurting but I may be sharing more lighter and positive aura now that I've learned how important it is to have that optimistic attitude.
Now I quote, "Think of the things that could go right and not of the things that could go wrong."
P.S. We had disabled embedding on our video so pardon us, but you have to watch it exclusively on youtube :) Thank you!
Forgive me :) I may not be with you right now; time check: 1:08 a.m. but I may still be with you in spirit! Kahit malayo, I will make sure, na abot na abot pa rin natin ang isa't-isa :) yeah. Ahem.ahem. INTRO: (again) I'm really really really really really sorry for not staying :( I think I'm sleeping tonight with regrets but, well, at least, the sessionistas lessened the drama. They're just freaking awesome! ahhhhh XD Anyway, I just wanted you to know how much I like it is to stay, maski di ka overnight, ughh. 12 pa man na guro curfew ko. #cinderella.
I can't afford to miss the party so here's my :
ROSE
Yeah, I know how to draw one :)
With matching "Moves Like Jagger" ☻
BAN. I really missed a lot. I missed partying with you and mae last night. "sigh" I hope you enjoyed my video. We went home late already, but I still got the grooves to dance in front of the webcam ;) #insane. Don't worry about me, I do that all the time. P.S. I'm sorry for the quality.
CANDLE + CUPCAKE
It's homemade.
DARN! I haven't made any wishes for you at your party. How could I miss that? :(( #sadness.
Yet, things could either be said or written, this time I choose to write for you. I kinda miss doing that lately. Either way, "gadulot" man gyapon. You know what I mean :)
BAN. I wish you all the happiness in life. Mapa love man, career, studies, relationships with family and friends, and all others. I wish you a very very healthy body. Keep it up, actually. I wish you more birthdays, and cakes, and packages to come. I wish you a very successful future, I can see it already. I wish you more blessings from God and more love from the people around you. You may now blow your candle ;)
PERSONAL MESSAGE: PERSONAL TREASURE
BAN. I hope you had accepted my apology. I hope that my blog will help me make up for you:) I'm very happy that at least, we had the time together. Not to mention, the "cut" that almost creeped you out.Though we're far away, our friendship still remains. Though we're far away, we've always been the same. BAN. I'm always here for you. Just give me a ring, and I'll answer your call. Btw, I've decided, nga ma globe na gid ko ya! lol. Anyway, If you could look back, we've been through a lot without having each other's company, yet still, don't hesitate to knock at my door and together we'll beat the bitches down. #asif. lol. BAN. always take good care of yourself. and oh, take good care of mia, too. Huwag kayong mawawala ha :)) I love you! Happy Happy 18th Birthday VAN ♥
As she lends down the envelope toher, she responded nothing but a heartache. Flashing an indifferent look broke her heart. All she needed was help but it seems that some matters are not important to her and are insignificant. All she needed was attention because that particular matter involves gold. "sigh"
And to add to her dismay, she realized thathismatters are more particular to her(not she).
So depressing it is to feel this way. So depressing it is to feel this way.
Damn! Damn! Damn! Less loved, she stares blankly at the shadows of the wall, feeling the droplets fall down her cheeks. Yet, she can't let her emotions rule her, she can't let the droplets fall again, she can't let depression beat her, and she can't give life to her thoughts as what she believes in. She just can'tbecause she shouldn'tbe. End of story. She opened her eyes, got up from bed, brushed her hair, and lived the day.
Let me extend my deepest and most heartfelt gratitude to you My fren, Lola, Ness, Emjay, Est, && Nixx...
I should start by saying,..or rather shouting, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" NA SURPRISE GD KO SANG GIN UBRA NIYO! KAMO NA! KAMO NA ANG SAGAD! (breath in, breath out)..okay.
Guys, I can't tell how happy I am :))
Happy ako kay:
Though the rain had been falling so hard, na push through man gyapon ang videoke ta. Thanks guys for the amot :))
Awesome ang COUNTDOWN! Na feel ko gid nga seventeen na ko :D
When the sun was up, you were still there beside me. as in beside gd ya kay ga sinardinas ta :)))lol
Though, I was saddened because nixie, mark and desiree had not made it in the afternoon, my family had a surprise visit! as.in way gd sila ga hambal nga makadto sila. AHHHH!
And of course, when the finale came. When you surprised me with the UNEXPECTED VIDEO. ♥♥♥
:')
I don't know. I can't describe this feeling. I've never felt this way before. naks. pru tuod. Nahuya gd ko maghibi sa tupad niyo Niz, Nes, and Purs, but I can't help it. Grabe hibi ko kay...chakto ka ling, abi ko way gd kamo surprise or what, BUT I WAS WRONG. Really wrong. You had the perfect timing. Ka sagad sa inyoo. AHHHH! It was the BEST gift. I am really grateful for all the efforts. It was the best music video ever. chakto ka nes, mas nami 'to kaysa sa You and I ni Lady Gaga. I didn't expect that you would make a way for others who are also special to me, to be a part of your most precious gift. It really means a lot. :)) You all know, nga tam.an sakon ka senti and emotional..so here are my personal messages to each one of you.. please bear with me.
NIX, Though we barely see each other, I'm very happy that you made it on my birthday. You shocked me with your greeting; masking tape on your forehead. awwe ;) Thank you so much Nix, Nanay. I really enjoyed your havey jokes. I really have fun with your company. :)) Halong ka gd da sa west, or shall I say, halong sila simo. :D Next stop---Your Birthday! :) Ilabsyou ♥
EST, Though you're very far away, you still managed to keep in touch :)) I miss you so much. Thank you gd sa greeting! I really appreciate your efforts. Sa pag tindog sa CR sang boys, stuffs like that :)) A simple greeting means a lot to me. When can I see you? awwe. Take care always, I miss your voice na. Ilabsyou ♥
EMJAY,....I hate you!hehe. Thank you thank you so much mark. I'm uber happy because you did everything to party and celebrate with us. All the way from miagao, you never failed to surprise me! I will really treasure the efforts, from "your greeting" to missed classes to nstp and to your mom's misunderstanding. (so sorry for that) I'm really thankful for everything. Take care always, good luck sa studies. Ilabsyou ♥
NES, my remedy :) Thank you thank you so much for making it though you didn't feel well early that day. Resurrected! I love dancing my ass off that night with you. I am grateful for all the efforts, your skills; mapa drawing, lettering, singing, dancing, acting, and jebacuating. Natingala man ko ngaa dala mo bago lang laptop ni jessa, pru gn pabayan ko na lang. Hayyy, Mu to na gale?! awwwwwe dagdag heart ko. Thanks for everything. I support you. Take care always, Ilabsyou ♥
NIZ, I'm just right by your side ;) Thank you thank you so much for being at my side through the EPIC times of our lives. I don't know how could I ever repay you with all the efforts. Nagpakahuya-huya kamo ni purs, and it means everything to me :) Gahd, I'm having a hard time expressing through words my gratitude to all of you. Ling, Never akong mawawala, always remember that. kahit na wala tayong mga maaasahan na telepono, I know, we know, that we'll always have each other just like the deck of cards. I always admire you for being a great and true friend to me. Next year, ikaw gd una ma debut :)) I will make it up to youu XD Good luck gd sa studies, always positive lang esp. sa math 11 :) Take care always, Ilabsyou ♥
PURS, my Fren :) I will always open the door for you ;) You don't have to knock, just break in.lol. Thank you thank you so much for making me this happy:)) Na touch gd ko. After all that we've been through na prove ta gd how strong ang atun friendship. I will always be grateful for all the efforts, especially sa greetings sa mga friends and classmates. Kung indi dahil sa imo, sa inyu, I would never been this happier. Thank you thank you so much sa pag compile sang video. Everything just fell right into place. You are always welcome at my place, huwag kang mahiya, you are already a sister to me, diba 'te? :) You did very well. Saludo ako sa'yo. "YOU ARE THAT "FREN" TO ME TOO." :) Remember that. You just made me feel so loved by you, and that's the best feeling ever. Chakto ka gd, grabe ang pagDULOT. Take care always, Ilabsyou ♥
FOR THE LAST TIME, THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU MADE EVERYTHING SO PERFECT, SO GREAT. YOU MADE ME SOOO HAPPY---AND THAT'S THE BEST GIFT I'VE EVER RECEIVED. I LOVE YOU. A second, a minute, an hour, a day goes by. I'm hoping just to be by your side :)) NO, NOTHING WORKS LIKE YOU!
But then, he just rushed,
left; and it was him I lose
I sought him, but there
wasn't aclue
Another missed chance of
knowing a boo
Because I was coerced to post something here in order to start really the act of blogging, I got tangled with my old cattleya notes that were once required by my most admired yet lunatic teacher of literature with the initials A.D. This is where I found the poem entitled "Unknown Friend" along with some of my indescribable products of imagination and poetry. I forgot to whom I dedicated this poem but I do recall that this was really for "someone". :)yeah. As far as I can still remember, this was our last activity before we enter short stories. The whole class went out of the classroom and everyone looked for his inspiration. This is where I found myself; at the island.
